Apples to Oranges

I’ve been very exhausted this past week, which is why I have been so lax on the posts. I’m sleeping every spare minute, and it still doesn’t seem to be enough. I thought that was supposed to end after the first trimester? I suppose running after a 16 month old while 19 weeks pregnant probably doesn’t equal to being well-rested, so I won’t complain.

I think I have been feeling the baby move around! I say think because the feeling is different than when I was pregnant with Olivia, which is odd. I guess I was anticipating a certain feeling (the one I had when pregnant with Olivia) but I’ve been getting some very different feelings, which I am guessing is baby movement. Very cool that I’m starting to get to that stage, I’ll be happy when my belly starts to fill out more. I’m trying not to be too obsessed this time about having a “round” belly, I’m just trying to enjoy my ever-changing body. As much as possible.

I also realized that I promised a post regarding my various hospital trips while I was out of town (and when I got back) and I haven’t forgotten. Okay, I did forget, but I will get to it in time. Honest!

For now, I found this post that I started to write and never finished. So I’ll finish it and that should satisfy my need to post today.

Olivia is a very well-behaved child, this I know. She does very well when we go out in public, she doesn’t tend to have meltdowns too often, and she is just a pleasure to be around.

This is not to say she isn’t also very mischievous and drives us batty at times. We are constantly pulling her out of bathrooms, closets, bedrooms she shouldn’t be in, drawers and cabinets, etc. It’s just, in public, she’s a very good girl. This sometimes drives me crazy because of the reactions I get when people talk about our “other” children. Even before I became pregnant the second time, I would hear a lot of “well, don’t expect your other children to be as good as Olivia is…” and very similar statements.

Let me just tell you, this drives me absolutely INSANE.

I just hate when people use Olivia’s good behavior as an invitation to say “you won’t be so lucky the next time around”. If I ever mention how well she is sleeping, eating, behaving, etc. This poor child has not even been born yet, and already people are setting him/her up for disaster. It’s not fair. I refuse to believe that our next child will be “better” or “worse” at any given thing than Olivia. It isn’t nice to prejudge. Everyone is different, and I won’t be treating my children as if they should be carbon copies of each other. Sure, Olivia may be an excellent sleeper now, but she wasn’t always that way–The next child may be similar, may be different, but sleeping habits are not something that dictates if a child is good or bad. That’s fucking ridiculous!

I love my daughter with all my heart, I know that as my firstborn, our relationship will be different than my relationship with this next child. Different, not more special or better. DIFFERENT. But, to think (or imply) that my second child won’t be (or isn’t currently) just as special or wonderful also makes me crazy. I know that my children won’t be carbon copies of each other, and that is what makes it exciting. This child is special because I won’t be as crazed or worried about doing things wrong, as I was with Olivia. I feel like I may be able to relax more, and enjoy my body, my growing baby, the birth of my baby MORE because I know what is coming. I’m not scared like I was before. I’m a different kind of scared, sure, (TWO kids? What in the world am I getting myself into?) , but to think that this baby won’t be as sweet and well-behaved as Olivia is just wrong. Will we be raising this child any differently? Perhaps we’ll be a bit more relaxed, but I don’t foresee any major changes in our parenting style, so why would this child be “bad” where Olivia is “good”?

All babies have different temperaments, and it is true that this child may not be as easygoing as Olivia, it is also true that he/she will be MORE easygoing. Who knows until we meet this child? Why should I plague myself with the worry that this baby will be a hellion, when the truth is, Olivia was not a great sleeper at first, she is currently not eating her veggies like she used to, and she can drive me crazy with her constant pulling dvds and games off of their respective shelves. Basically, those things are irrelevant to me, I still love Olivia with everything in my being, and love “the baby in the belly” (as we refer to him/her when talking to Olivia), with everything in my being also. Comparisons will be made, but not comparisons to determine which child is better or worse. It would be like comparing apples to oranges. Totally pointless.

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