and then there were four…

A lot has happened. I’m going to try and give you a run-down.

• Sophia’s polka dot birthday party was a blast. It was hot as hell, and we’ve decided that next year her party should be later in the day, BUT it was so great to spend that time with family and friends and watch Sophia get buttercream icing in every single crevice of her body. I had to strip her naked and carry her in the house and hose her off in the kitchen sink. She seemed to enjoy herself and Olivia enjoyed spending the day in the inflatable pool.
• My mom’s visit was awesome. We crammed a lot of activity into the four days/three nights she was here. And a LOT of shopping!
• Bill and I were able to go out every night my mom was here. Granted, we went to the grocery store for party supplies one night, but the other two nights we actually went out. We had dinner together Saturday night and went to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince on Sunday night. It was awesome! Bill and I came to the conclusion that we really should go out more than once a year. We do have friends and family that have all offered to babysit for us, and we think that maybe going out once a month or at least every six weeks would be good for our sanity.
• During our viewing of Harry Potter, we sat behind Oscar from The Office. He is so much cuter in person! I couldn’t believe he is as old as his IMDB profile says. His girlfriend is cute as a button too! I love seeing famous people being normal and not being bothered by folks. Bill and I both said that would be the kind of famous we would want to be, the kind where we were recognized, but not bugged by crazy paparazzi or fans.
• Sophia had her one year check-up. She is in the 60th percentile for height and the 50th for weight. The doctor was impressed with her vocabulary and said she is developing nicely.
• We took Olivia and Sophia to the fair last Saturday and had a wonderful day. Olivia rode the Carousel for the first (and second) time. Bill went with her first and then she wanted to ride again, so I was able to experience it with her too, which was awesome. Bill won both girls a stuffed animal (Olivia a turtle and Sophia a fuzzy bear) at a dart-throwing, balloon popping game . We taught Olivia how to play skee-ball, which she loved. Olivia had a HUGE corn dog and Sophia and I shared one of those big turkey legs I’ve always wanted to try (SO good). Three hours later Sophia finished the rest of Olivia’s corn dog in the car on the way home. That girl loves to eat! We tried a deep fried S’more–which was disappointing (unlike the deep-fried Twinkie we had last year).
• Sophia is walking EVERYWHERE and gets steadier every day. Her vocabulary has expanded and she says: “no” (while pointing to her nose means, obviously ‘nose’, but she uses it the other way too), “bath”, “ball”, “nah” (nap), “moh” (more), “snah” (snack) , “this”, “there”, “doh” (door), “bye”, “mou” (mouth), “Mo” (for Elmo), “Buu” (for Blue), “nigh-nigh” (for night-night), “dah” (dog), “hewo” (hello) and she has a discernable word for “Olivia”. Most of her words tend to drop the last syllable, but they are extremely understandable to us. She also has “Mama” and “Dada” down and loves to say “mama, mama, mama, mama…” and awaiting me to say “what?”
• Olivia used the potty twice today! I’m going to write an extended post on the potty incident tomorrow. After I started writing, I realized it was way too long for a bullet point.
• We’re out of credit card debt–finally. It feels nice. Next stop: saving for a house and buying a second car!
• Olivia’s swimming lessons are going awesome! She’s actually kicking under water and pushing off the steps and “flying” on the water, “like Buzz Lightyear”. Extremely cute.
• This morning, I was looking for Olivia (who was being too quiet) and I found her, in the closet, in her big purple toy bin, reading her books. I was reminded of the big purple claw bathtub my second grade teacher had in her classroom. It had big comfy cushions inside and when you did something good in class you earned time in the tub to read. It was AWESOME and I did everything I could to spend time in that damned tub. Makes me want one now. I may need to write an extended post on the bathtub one day, so many fond memories!
• I’ve been on Weight Watchers for three months and have lost 12 pounds. Which is awesome, but I am slowing down and am now trying to kick it into gear. I would love to lose the last 15 Sophia-pregnancy pounds within the next three-four  months and then the 10 Olivia-pregnancy pounds by the new year. Then I can focus on the pre-baby (20) pounds I packed on after marriage. That’s all I’m thinking about right now. One step at a time!
• We just bought  “Where the Wild Things Are” and I couldn’t help but tear up when Bill read it to Olivia for the first (and second) time tonight. Made my ovaries ache and made me smile at how lucky I am to have such a wonderful life. Even if I DID get pee dumped on my hand today and had to clean poop out of underwear.

I think that sums up the last two weeks. Potty post forthcoming!

Today my baby girl turned a year old.

As I was reminiscing and becoming extremely weepy, I remembered something from the day she was born and I just burst out in laughter. I can’t believe I haven’t shared it, but that just makes it a fun surprise for you.

I’m in labor. Contractions are intense and extremely close together. Time for the epidural.

The young anesthesiologist comes into the room with his cart of delicious, delicious drugs. He was young, had spiked hair, and for some reason my fuzzy memory makes me want to remember him looking like Dr. Rey, but I could be totally off.  Did I mention he was young?

I tried a polite, funny banter with him–well, as funny and polite as one can be while contracting every couple of minutes. After all, this is the same dude that was going to be sticking a (HUGE) needle in my back. He got started and was having some difficulty, so I mentioned that the anesthesiologist that gave me my epidural with Olivia said I had a strong back (whatever that means). I even said “I’m not sure if that means anything, but he had a hard time with my epidural also.”

So young, dark-haired Robert Rey-looking anesthesiologist said, (quite cocky I might add) “yeah, your spine is a bit crooked, it would have been easier to see if it weren’t so meaty back here.”

I’m still having contractions, but I clearly remember thinking “Did that motherfucker just call me fat? WHILE I’m 9 months pregnant and IN FUCKING LABOR?” I’m still pissed that I didn’t respond to that. I’m just too nice sometimes. Then again, I was trying to give birth to a human, contracting and dealing with someone who had a HUGE needle poised and ready to jam in between my vertebrae. So, maybe it was better left unsaid.

Flash forward a few months after Sophia’s birth, I went to the orthopedic surgeon to talk about my sore back. I mentioned to him what the anesthesiologist said. He checked me, chuckled, and said “Your spine is NOT crooked. That’s what they like to say when they can’t do their job right.”

VINDICATION!

Too bad he wasn’t standing in the delivery room to let the anesthesiologist in on that.

Happy Birthday my Sweet Sophia. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. You’re my snugglebug, my sweet fartface and I love you to the moon and back.

I’m the first to admit that I’m not a perfect parent. I lose my temper just like anyone. A couple of weeks ago I lost my temper and it came back to haunt me.

Now, I understand that the correct way to go about potty training is to NOT traumatize the child or to make them fear the potty. That was not my intention. In fact, I asked her if she wanted to sit on the potty, and she agreed. After a minute she wanted up. I simply told her she needed to sit there for a few more minutes, and give the potty a chance.

So she started screaming and crying and throwing a fit. I lost my temper.

“Get up Olivia, get up and we’ll put a freakin’ diaper on and you can be a freakin’ baby forever!”

Admittedly, not my finest parenting moment.

So, after I had calmed down and apologized for losing my temper I forgot the whole ordeal.

Today, I asked Olivia if she wanted to try the potty (something I do daily). She decided she wanted to give it a try. She’s sitting on the potty, and she asks me if I can go to the potty too. So I do what any good parent would do and use the bathroom to show her how it is done. After I am finished she looks at me and says “I don’t want to sit on the potty anymore mama.”

“Are you sure baby? You don’t have any peepee that wants to come out?” I asked her.

“No mama, I want to go put a freakin’ diaper on and be a freakin’ baby.”

I’m laughing NOW, but at that moment I realized how powerful my words are and how they could potentially be used against me. I’m doing my best to keep that in check.

I hugged her tight and told her she would use the potty when she was ready and I was sorry if I made her feel rushed.

Maybe I’m a pushover, but…that girl has my heart and I never want to hurt her with my words.

Tonight we were trying (again!) to get Olivia to clean up her room before bed.

Bill was playing his Xbox and while he was in the kitchen, she came into the living room and picked up his controller.

“Liv, you know you aren’t supposed to mess with Daddy’s controller!” I said.

“But I want to play a game!”

“Well, you need to clean your room.” Bill explained,

I followed with a helpful: “Maybe you could make cleaning your room a game?”

Olivia gave Bill and I a deadpan stare. “But that’s not a GAME! That’s my JOB!” and off she went to her room, leaving Bill and I near tears.

Olivia came out of her room tonight extremely agitated.

“Daddy, the letters are shaking.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The letters, in my room, they are shaking.”

“Are you okay? What do you mean?” Bill followed her back into her room and after a minute he came back out, laughing.

She had been reading by glow-worm and apparently one of her books has italicized words in part of the title. Because they were SLANTED they were “shaking” and she wanted her daddy to “make them straight.”

I dealt with Tuesday in a stupid way. I watched the MJ memorial which made me cry. I talked to my mom, cried some more. I’ve definitely not fully come to terms with it, but I don’t want to constantly harp on it, so I have decided to dedicate this post to happiness.

These are things that have made me smile this week.

• I just bought a glue gun because I wanted to try my hand at hair-bow making. Definitely not my forte, because I am so freaking impatient when it comes to crafts and letting stuff dry. HOWEVER, those little buggers are expensive and ribbon is kind of cheap at Michaels, so I thought I would give it a whirl. Haven’t started doing it yet, but I did take some googly eyes, poof balls and this old hair gel container that Bill uses for loose change and Olivia and I had a ball decorating it with funny faces. After we had finished, she stuck it back on his desk and said: “Mama, I think daddy is going to LOVE it.” It made me feel like a productive mama, even if I have yet to put actual clothes on this morning.
• Sophia is walking! Six to seven steps at a time. I feel kind of bad, because I can’t pinpoint the date she started taking steps (I’m still trying to work backwards to figure it out) but it happened so fast. She is stumbling around like a drunk after last call, but she is definitely walking (six or seven steps…stumble, pick herself back up, six or seven steps). I also like the fact that she started on July 7th because it is something happy to remember on that date.
• My mama is coming to visit next week! She’s coming for Sophia’s fantastic Polka-dot themed backyard birthday bash that I still have to put together (I’m halfway done, I promise).
• Olivia starts swimming lessons tomorrow. She’s so very excited and she asked me “can I sit at the edge of the pool and put my feet in first?” More fun stories about this to follow, I’m sure.
• I finished reading a book! Finally. I even wrote a review for it on that visual bookshelf application for Facebook. Hmmm…I could repost it here. I wonder if that is allowed. I am always so busy with baby stuff, I seem to never be able to finish reading books I start, so this is an accomplishment.
• I commented to my mom that my life is 99.9% happy. She responded that there weren’t many people that could say that, so I should feel thankful. Since my .1% is all superficial stuff (losing babyweight, buying a house one day, etc. etc.) I DO feel like the luckiest girl alive and I am very thankful for that.  The rest will fall into place when I least expect it, it always does.