Sophia turned 2 months old yesterday. Olivia will be 2 years old in a couple of weeks. I find myself with less and less ‘me’ time, thus I haven’t written. I’ve also not started on Sophia’s baby book (I have everything written down, just not organized yet). I haven’t journaled since Sophia was born, nor have I really sat down and read any of the books I have stacked up on my bookshelf, awaiting me to pry them open.I find myself more inclined to zone out in front of the TV when Sophia finally goes down for the evening. When she naps, I try to nap (provided Olivia is also napping) and when Olivia isn’t napping, but Sophia is, I try to spend one-on-one time with her.
Life is completely different. A bit more crazy, but to see my girls together makes my heart melt and I know it is all worth it. I’m just a bit frazzled. I’ve also finally admitted to myself that I am a stress eater. When Sophia is crying and Olivia is begging for my attention and I am being pulled into a bunch of different directions, I tend to want to eat. I’m trying to calm that down–I’ve lost 22 of the 46 lbs I put on when pregnant with Sophia. Not too bad, but I want to lose the last 24 by the New Year, so I can focus on the next step in weight loss. However, I know I can’t push myself too hard because I’m bound to break. I’m nursing Sophia constantly, so I know I have to keep my caloric intake up to a certain point. I just need to realize I can’t eat like a jackass to get those calories. I’m eating lots more veggies, trying to stay away from soda (even though I drink the diet kind anyway), and I have started taking the girls to the park every morning (about a mile and a half walk, round-trip).
I have a funny story about the park, but I’ll split it into another post, to make for easier reading.
Basically, I’m still here, I still want to write, but life is crazy. CRAZY. I keep telling myself that it gets better and I will have more time. Then I remind myself that I want to have another baby one day and it will probably be after we catch our breath and start to forget these first few months. I kept asking Bill, “Did Olivia cry this much in the beginning?” and he looks at me as if to ask “Are you crazy, of course she did!” But because she is typically so even-tempered now, I forget. And I’m slowly forgetting with Sophia, because she is going from screaming her head off every moment she is awake to a sweet, serene little girl who smiles and coos and likes to look around. Don’t get me wrong, she still cries, she’s just not quite as demanding as she was for the first 6 weeks or so.