and then there were four…

I’ve begun the arduous task of weaning Olivia. I know it is going to take a long time, because we are both so used to it and to be honest, I still enjoy that time together…but everything must come to an end, lest we end up like this family. Maybe I am being overly judgmental, but there comes a time when extended breastfeeding is not something you are doing for your child, but for yourself. (MY OPINION!)  Seriously, I can’t have a child as big as me pulling up my shirt and latching on. It’s just not right. When it isn’t being used for real substantial nourishment, I think it is time to let it go.

I asked my doctor if there was any real benefit from extended breastfeeding (past a year old) and he said that there wasn’t a major benefit, (as far as he could tell) but if I wanted to, by all means continue. I don’t know my whole reasoning for wanting to wean her, which is probably why I have opted for such a long wean (I hope to have her weaned by the new year). My cousin told me that a lot of children self-wean, and her son did so around 13 months. We’ll see if she does that, but I want to take it slow because she has not been liking the whole (cow) milk that I’ve been pushing on her. She takes a sip and makes a face and pushes it back at me, shaking her head “no” (we think she understands what the head-shake means, anyway). Other times, she will take big swigs and seem to like it ok, so I’m not sure. “Experts” say you have to introduce a new food to a child at least 15 times for them to take to it, so I’ll keep trying.  I don’t feel comfortable taking breastmilk away from her until she starts drinking the recommended 24-32 (I think) ounces of milk a day.

For the past two weeks she has only nursed three times each day (morning, afternoon & night) and I am giving her the whole milk to take the place of the nursing session I’ve taken away. I’ve been getting major cramps the past two weeks too, I didn’t think of the two being related, but I suppose they are. My sex drive has been up too, which I never realized was linked. I suppose if all of your hormones are busy making milk they have less time for the sexy time.

I have to inject a plug: You must go to Jezebel. I love this site, it is snarky, and everyone in the forums are truly supportive of one another and it keeps me sane. To know I am not the only girl looking at the celebrity news and thinking “What the fuck is up with this bitch?” or just a more-general “What the fuck?” is really fucking brilliant. Sometimes I wish I were British–they have the some of the best slang. Seriously? They call their boobs “tits” and aren’t shy about the fact…Come on now: “bloody hell”, “Ballocks” and “balls to the wall”. And those are just the “B” words!

Okay, my little girl has woken up from her nap, I must go!

I want to apologize for any wonkiness that may be happening with older posts. Some of the punctuation marks have morphed into gobbledy gook. Not sure why but we’re working on it, so bear with me!

Also, if you have subscribed to the RSS feed and you haven’t been getting updates via the feed (and obviously having to come to the actual site) resubscribe to the feed. That has also been wonky.

Sorry for any inconvenience either of this issues may have caused.

Miss O is officially a walking machine. She’s been doing a little bit here and there since right before her birthday, six or seven steps, then falling to the ground. But, for almost two weeks now she’s been doing much more walking than crawling. It’s crazy! She gets so excited and starts to run, then falls down. But it’s amazing to see the transition from crawling to walking. I can’t believe how quick she is sometimes.

I’ve finally gotten Miss O’s Halloween costume together. I didn’t know what in the world she should be, and Bill said I should make her costume, and it could be a tradition, that eventually she would be able to come up with what she wanted to be and we could create it together. So, the idea-mill began. I had a few cute ideas, but then my mom sent her a box of Halloween stuff and included was the cutest tiniest little witch hat. I couldn’t let it go to waste, so I decided to create her costume around that. But, I didn’t want her to be a regular old witch, so I decided she could be the Wicked Witch of the East (or Nessarose, for those of you who have read WICKED) BEFORE Dorothy dropped the house on her. I’ve got the shoes, the tights, and I’ve created a black costume out of some fabric I got from Bill’s grandma. Fantastic. I just hope it looks as cute on her as it did in my head.

I love Halloween! It’s fun to see all the kids (and adults!) dressed up. It’s nice that once a year everyone can come together and risk looking like idiots for fun! Unfortunately, I didn’t have any parties to attend, so I didn’t (and aren’t) going to dress up (except for my Pacman ghost shirt and maybe Miss O’s spider headband). Besides, I spent too much time putting her costume together to think about what I should be ;o)

I taught her how to say “booooooooo” (it sounds more like “oooooooooo” but it’s cute!) We are also working on cackling. She has the right idea, but her cackle isn’t high pitched enough…yet.

We aren’t taking her trick-or-treating, but we are going to go over to visit family here in town. She can’t really have candy (I sometimes let her have a lick of a lollipop) and everyone will think that we are just going out to get candy for ourselves, anyway. While I don’t knock anyone who decides to take their teeny tiny kids out trick-or-treating (those that have older siblings are exempt from the “just want candy” rule), we just don’t want to be that couple. You know the ones I’m talking about. She’ll have PLENTY of years to trick-or-treat. Bill always says that we can go to the store and buy candy if we want it that bad. Hahaha Besides: if you buy it yourself you can pick exactly what you want!

I don’t want any candy anyway, I’m doing pretty good back on the weight-loss wagon. And I decided that even if I don’t lose any more weight (which I will) I know I am eating right and exercising, so I’ll still be healthy. Miss O and I take a walk every morning to the park (about a mile away) and we play for 20-30 minutes, then walk back. It’s nice to go in the morning, before it gets too warm and before the big kids take the park over. I figured out what the whole deal is with Olivia and grass. Apparently, she is ok with grass that is dry. She will walk around in it and let me take her picture. She actually gets excited and likes play in dry grass. However…if the grass is damp, then you have major problems. She isn’t crying like she did initially, just scrambling back to me and giving me the “get me outta here!” look and pawing at my arm. Really though, can you blame her?

I’m so excited to announce that some awesome person on YouTube decided to post (in 8 different installments) my favorite Halloween movie of all time: The Worst Witch starring Fairuza Balk (of The Craft, among other movies). I was obsessed with this movie as a child and would constantly watch it every time HBO would have it on their schedule. Oh, that and Teen Witch (in 10 parts!). Thank you to these people who decided to let me take a small walk down memory lane. Who wouldn’t want to be a witch after watching these movies?

Isn’t it purdy?

Also: I’ve enabled comments again; I’ve found a plugin that will (hopefully) help eliminate spam. Feel free to comment, in fact, please do. Tell me what you like, what you don’t like. I am fascinated by people who read my blog. I heart you all. I don’t think there are that many of you, but I’ll soon find out, because I also installed a reader statistic thingy. I’m so fucking nosy.

Speaking of fuck: I did a search on my page, and I have only used my favorite “curse” word in one post. What the fuck have I been thinking? Obviously I haven’t been. It’s only the best expletive!

I promise to write more, the past week and a half has been crazy.

When you haven’t had PMS for a whole year and a half, it can be quite debilitating (more mentally than physically for me, unfortunately) the first time back in the saddle (or ovaries, I suppose). That’s what I am guessing is going on. I hope that’s what’s going on, anyway.

Okay, it’s almost 2 a.m. I’m going to watch Arrested Development. You should watch it too, it’s one of the many (awesome) shows that Fox killed (it’s buried next to Firefly & Futurama).

Since I posted last, my little girl had her big first birthday and my husband turned 28, my mom and grandma came for a visit and we had a big backyard bash for my birthday babies. I gained back a couple of those pounds that I worked so hard to lose, and I decided to set some goals for myself.

On October 3, my mom & grandma flew out to visit. They were scheduled to arrive at Airport A around 8:30p.m. Airport A is approximately 1 hour from my home. I get a hysterical call from my mom around 3:30 that afternoon. She had read the wrong gate number and my grandma didn’t have a wheelchair and they missed their connecting flight. There were no more flights into Airport A until the next morning, but there were flights into Airport B (about 30-45 minutes from my house) that night, so could I please pick them up there instead? Of course I could!

So, now you’re thinking, how great, you shaved 15-30 minutes off of your drive each way, right? Not so much. Apparently, the airline explained that they were not to blame for her missing her flight, so they couldn’t do anything about her luggage, which was already on the flight to Airport A. They wouldn’t be able to do a transfer, because, again, it wasn’t their fault. So my mom says that she will need ‘someone’ to go and pick her luggage up at this airport at 8:30, and she would be arriving into Airport B by 10:30. Okay, no problem. I type in the airports into google maps, and realize that Airport A is about 1 hour from Airport B. Sooooo I have to drive 1 hour (or more depending on traffic) to Airport A, get their luggage without incurring the curiosity of airport officials, drive 1 hour (again, depending on traffic) to Airport B, pick up my mom & grandma, and then drive another 30-45 minutes to finally get home.

So, that’s just what I did. And to be honest, it wasn’t that bad. The worst part of the whole situation was that it was the first night I didn’t put Miss O to bed, and that just felt weird.

The next day, my daughter & husband’s birthday, I cooked a big breakfast to celebrate, and took my mom, grandma & daughter shopping and left my husband to have a (hopefully) fantastic day to himself to do as he pleased. We were so busy that I didn’t realize until it was almost too late that I hadn’t taken any pictures of my birthday babies! I hurriedly snapped some cute shots of my little girl & husband in their pajamas. I still feel a little guilty, but I’m human after all.

Friday was the same, more shopping, and gathering party supplies. My mom went out with my husband’s aunt that night, so grandma, Bill & I hung out, ate pizza and got the party food together.

Saturday was a mess! I swear I thought I was running late and nothing was going to get done on time, but it turned out beautifully and I (as usual) got myself worked up over nothing. Miss O had a fantastic time, she destroyed a cake, enjoyed eating more of it that I thought she would, and really entertained the family. I was amazed at how many people just seemed to really enjoy being there, just watching Miss O be a baby and enjoy the attention. I suppose we throw a better party than we thought. I was really pleased with myself and how well we pulled it off.

After all of the free-wheeling, eating and merriment that I had enjoyed before, during and after the party, I realized that those few pounds that kept sneaking back up on the scale weren’t water-weight, and I had, indeed, gained about 5 lbs back from the weight I had lost. How did it happen? I got lazy and cocky and thought “Oh it will come off…”. But, I have realized that wishing it away doesn’t work for me, so I need to kick my arse back into gear. I decided that maybe the best plan of action would be to set a goal for myself. Not a normal “I want to lose this much weight” type of goal, because I know that sooner rather than later I will be pregnant again and I will inevitably gain weight and that’s okay. I’m so thankful to have my daughter and I would gain every last pound all over again if I had to. She is my world, and my body is a reflection of all that goes along with this gift, I suppose. However, I would like to lose back down to my pre-wedding weight (or more) by the year 2011, the year I turn 30. Sure, I could lose it before then, and that would be great. But…I see that as a time when I should possibly be done with being pregnant, nursing, etc. etc. So, no excuses, right?

That could change if we decide to have more kids and we’re not done by my 30th year.

Don’t take that as a sign I have given up trying to lose the weight. Quite the contrary. I totally plan on kicking my butt into gear and going for it will full gusto…but, it’s nice to have a goal in mind. It is also good to understand that I beat myself up a whole hell of a lot more if I try to pin down some type of number-goal in regards to my weight. I do enough self-loathing and beating without the added torture of not hitting the weight mark.

That’s also the same year I hope to have a MacBook Pro (or whatever newer Mac laptop is available that year).

See, I AM goal-oriented.

For now, anyway. The Pampers worked beautifully last night. It was a very fully soaked diaper, but a dry dry bottom (and top, and sides, and clothes, you get the idea).

I’m back to the Huggies during the day (until I run out of them, anyway).

Miss O seemed happier when she woke up this morning. I guess I would be too if I woke up dry and clean after waking up wet and icky the past few days.

I have been extremely fortunate in that my wonderful Aunt & Uncle bestowed the gift of diapers to my family when Miss O was born. Not just a package, or case of diapers, but ALL of my diapers since her birth (1 year ago this Thursday!). I have never had to buy a package of diapers…until recently. (yeah, yeah, I know, poor pitiful me). I ran out of diapers in between shipments of these wonderful mail-order diapers. I hadn’t realized how low my supply had gotten (I am sent a few cases at a time) and when my aunt called to check, I realized I was near the bottom of my last case. She put in an order, and I thought I had enough to last, but alas that was not to be. So, I went out and bought a case of Huggies from Costco.

Thus, my diaper debacle begun.

Let me tell you, I have had no luck whatsoever with these damn diapers. I’m not sure if, while she is well within the weight limit of the size 3 diapers (16-28 lbs), she is too long for them. A size 4 is for 22-37 lbs–and at last check she was 21 lbs. Whatever the case may be, she has woken up each morning soaked through (poor baby!) and has had at least 2 blow-outs (one extremely disgusting one today, I’m still horrified).

I have had experience with Huggies in the past. When Miss O was smaller I was given them as gifts & my mom bought them when we went for a visit (so I didn’t have to travel with diapers) and they worked fine. I really liked them, actually. Well…I didn’t like them as much as MY diapers (haha), but I still liked them fine. I guess she wasn’t sleeping as long, so she wasn’t wearing them for the extended periods of time that she does now. During the day it isn’t as much of a problem, because I frequently check her to make sure she isn’t wet. However, I obviously hate that she is waking up wet, so I went today and bought Pampers, because they are the “best” (the most expensive, anyway). I went up to a size 4 and am hoping that she won’t awaken tomorrow morning soaked. I’ll keep you posted on the fate of the Pampers. Is it really worth the extra dough?

Initially, I had a package of Luvs in my cart, but I spoke to a guy who was also buying diapers and he said his small son had lots of blow-outs in Luvs, so that kind of helped me make my decision and I went with the Pampers.

My cousin (who also gets our terrific diapers for her 8 month old son, and used them when her 3 year old was a baby) said that they have changed the diapers a little, but they are still the best diapers she’s ever tried. I think after this little foray into the world of diapering, I will agree with her. Before, I loved them and thought they were great, but I had little basis for comparison. Now I know the horrors that commercial diapers bring. Maybe I’m a little over dramatic, but those diapers are freaking awesome. Go, buy them. You won’t regret it.

I miss my diapers. I love them. They are great. Go ahead, you can think it…I know it…I’m spoiled when it comes to diapers.

I eagerly await the delivery man to come to my door.