and then there were four…

In the news recently, a certain mega-popstar who is going through a divorce has been seen out and about without her panties on, flashing her goods to the paparazzi. This same pop star has two tiny children, one who is still a newborn, only a little older than my daughter.

I say this because I am in awe of how someone can have a child that age and STILL go out and party three nights in a row. I just don’t understand how anyone could be away from their little one that much. Shoot, I left my daughter with my husband last night for an hour and a half to do some Christmas shopping and I felt a little guilty being gone “so long”.

No matter how famous you are, how much money you have, you can’t get the first smiles, laughs, coos, etc. back. Once they are had, they are gone, and it’s sad that someone is willing to give that up in order to go and party. My little girl is my reason for breathing, and I wouldn’t give her up for anything, sore boobs, baggy eyes, and all.

I’m not saying that you can’t go out and have a good time if you are a parent, I mean, I now understand why my mom would go out with her friends and we sat at home with a babysitter. We are still people, even if we are now parents, we deserve to have fun. But, I don’t plan on doing that until my little girl is a bit older. This is the time to cherish right now, to enjoy each of those firsts in the first few months of life. Sure, I sometimes get stir-crazy, and that’s when I hand my daughter to my husband and go to the store for 30 minutes to run an errand, or take a nice, long, hot, shower.

I guess my priorities are different, and I won’t be judgmental, I just hope that all those people with money for high-priced Nannies and entourages don’t look back on their life and regret not seeing their baby smile for the first time. It’s an amazing site to behold.

Just thought I would update, in case someone was anxiously awaiting the outcome of the poop crisis. We now have poop again–it returned the day after my last post–we were just so busy with the poop I had no time for anything else.
Still no word on when sleep will return.

After determining last week that my child is getting enough nutrition from my breastmilk (the kid gained a half a pound in a week!) I started feeling confident in my abilities as an all-you-can-eat buffet o’ milk.

Now, she won’t poop.

Granted, the doctor told us before that sometimes a kid will skip a few days, but we are working on day two and no poop. This (not) coming from a child who usually poops 3 or 4 times a day (at least). I’m trying not to worry. But, I may call the doctor’s office tomorrow. It’s almost as if I’m being kept on my toes. I can’t relax enough to know that I’m doing the right thing by breastfeeding. Everyone heralds breastfeeding as the best thing you can do for your baby, but, I can’t see what she’s eating. I know she’s not dehydrated, she’s peeing enough.

This is the story of my life. I have always worried. Ever since I was a child, I worried about everything. If there was nothing to worry about, I invented things. Now that I’m a parent, I’m afraid it will only get worse. Luckily my husband is level-headed, so I don’t go insane with the worry.

I don’t want to be one of those parents, the hypochondriac, the one who worries at every bump and scrape, but, where is the happy medium? I guess I should give myself some time; she’s only 5 weeks old. It doesn’t seem like it has been that long, but, it has.

On a funny, yet painful note: Tonight as we were playing with the baby, I got up to do something and she suddenly started crying, screaming like something was hurting her. I thought at first (before the intensity of the cry hit me) “oh, she’s upset that I’m walking away from her” I went back over only to find my husband trying to get her fist unclenched from her hair. Yes, she had grabbed her own hair and pulled it, causing her pain. She has very long hair for a newborn. It took us a few moments to get her little fist from around her curls, and she calmed down. While I hate hearing her cry, it was rather amusing after she was calmed down. No lasting damage, we just have to learn to help her keep her hands away from her head. At least, until she figures out she is in control of her hands.

I anxiously await the poop.