and then there were four…

So, I’m back. I feel kind of ominous posting that as a title, because I don’t want to jinx myself, but after two weeks of feeling like utter crap, it’s nice to announce that I’m feeling much better.

Unfortunately Sophia seems to have caught the cold (luckily it doesn’t seem as severe as mine was), and Olivia may have a UTI. She has been crying every time she goes to the bathroom since late this afternoon, so we are taking her to the doctor bright and early tomorrow morning.

I know that UTIs are super common in little girls, but it still makes me sad that she has to have that kind of pain so young. It is such a cliche, but I wish there was a pain transference machine where you could just take someone’s pain away.

I’d let them feel the pain when they did something stupid, just not when they were sick. Unless of course they got sick by doing something stupid (like puking because they drink too much when they go to a party and indulge in underage drinking) Sure, I’ll rub their back and hold their hair, but I’m definitely gonna be laughing and telling them this is what they get. THEN they’ll have to research the effects of alcohol poisoning and write me a report. At least if they are stupid a second time I’ve given them the information, right?

But, as they are (almost) four and two, I do not have to worry about that. One would hope I would NEVER have to worry, but I’ll try not to be that naive.

I have tried to make Olivia feel slightly better about the whole situation and told her that the doctor may give her medicine to make her pee look neon orange. Unless they don’t give that to little kids, then I’ll be forced to admit that I was wrong.

I really hope they give her that medicine. I hate admitting I was wrong, plus the neon pee is kind of cool.

I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.

I don’t think I have been this sick in a long time.

I felt flutters last week, but, in true Natalie fashion, I ignored it. “Oh, it’s just allergies, the weather is being funny, my body is reacting…I’ll be FINE.”

I went to the beach with my family last Friday and was able to keep it together, but as soon as we got home and decompressed I realized that it wasn’t just allergies.

Still…I shrugged it off and went to Bill’s cousin’s going-away party on Saturday (it was so worth it…the best homemade pizza I’ve ever had!)

I woke up on Sunday and sounded like Marge Simpson.

Absolutely no voice. Please understand there was no yelling or crazy partying that happened on Saturday, I didn’t have one drink, but I still had no voice.

This has never happened to me before. It was (and is) weird.

Bill kept asking me to call one of the girls my “special little guy” but instead I just “hmmmmm”ed at him, which amused him to no end.

I stayed in bed all day Sunday, and was forced back to my real world of being primary caregiver on Monday. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: stay-at-home mama’s do NOT get sick days. I can’t speak for working moms, but I would assume MOST moms don’t get sick days. Sucks, but along with the pros I guess I have to take the cons.

I was still unable to talk above a whisper on Monday, and Olivia and Sophia kept asking me why I was “talking like that”? I couldn’t yell at them for misbehaving (not that I EVER do that or anything. *smirk*) which led to some very creative parenting. “I’m going to swat your legs with this flyswatter if you keep acting like a fly and bugging me!”  Since we don’t spank in our house they both called my bluff and I actually looked at them and said “man, I’m gonna have to come up with some better threats since we don’t hit in our house, right?” Olivia looked at me thoughtfully and said “Mama, why is your voice so funny?”

By Tuesday, Bill said my raspy, deep voice had gone from “Maude”-era Bea Arthur to “Golden Girls” Bea Arthur, which, I suppose is progress.

Yesterday and today has been much better, I have faded in and out from being able to speak, to losing my voice and sounding like a boy entering manhood. However, the coughing has taken over and for the past three days and nights I feel like my lungs are going to come up out of my throat.

Unfortunately it hasn’t affected my appetite and when I’m sick I’m less likely to eat healthy and more likely to eat for comfort. So much for the appendix diet. But, seeing as how starting next week I’m going to have to walk a few miles a day to get Olivia to and from preschool (I’ll be so glad when we finally get that second car), maybe I’ll be able to tackle the extra (and then some).

Other than that, I must say I am a lucky girl to have such a great husband. He brought me my favorite soup when I feel like crap (Chinese WonTon soup) and went out and bought breakfast items since I have not felt like baking for the girls. Plus he hasn’t complained about eating sandwiches or random meals since I’m in no mood to cook. I did get a burst of energy on Tuesday and made Waffles & Bacon (it was National Waffle Day, Ya’ll) but other than that I’ve been MIA from the kitchen (okay, I do get the girls’ meals together, but sandwiches, leftovers and quesadillas are not exactly heavy-duty cooking).

I’m hoping that I am better by Monday. This can’t last forever, can it? Plus, my baby girl starts preschool and I have to meet all the other parents. I don’t want to be the weird mom (with the frog voice and glazed over eyes) from the very beginning…gotta let them warm up to the weird, right?

Today, as I was weighing myself for my weekly Weight Watchers weigh-in session, Olivia and Sophia wandered into my room.

“What do the numbers say, mama?” Olivia asked me.

“It says I’m the perfect weight!” I responded, because, if you remember, I am trying not to make a big deal over the numbers on the scale. I want the girls to grow up healthy and not focused on a number, the way I always am. I’m trying to make myself better, in order to give them a leg up on self-esteem and body image.

“But mama!” Olivia protested. “Perfect is NOT a number…what number does it say?”

“It says that I am the perfect weight, Olivia.” I grinned at her and Sophia who were trying to peek at my scale (which I had covered with my foot).

She kept protesting, until I finally said, “Olivia, is mama healthy?”

“I don’t know.” She said, a little confused.

“Well, mama is very healthy, and her weight is the perfect weight.” I responded, kind of proud of my answer.

She smiled and both girls went back to their room to play.

And you know what? Saying that to my daughter, and seeing how it made her happy to know, I began to believe it myself.

As I was perusing the interwebs, I saw an article about how to make your own twix bar. I was intrigued, and bookmarked it for future reference (since, I don’t have the ingredients to make them currently). However, it made me crave a twix bar. (Hello PMS!)

I looked over at Bill and said “Don’t you want to go to 7-11 and pick me up a Twix and a slurpee?” He looked at me and said “You’ve got two legs and car keys…if you want it, go get it!”

I gave him my poor, pitiful face and said “I’m your WIFE! The MOTHER of your CHILDREN!” (with my most dramatic, over-the-top voice) “Doesn’t that mean ANYTHING?” (Of course, I’m playing it up).

He looked over at me and said “Do you REALLY want to play that card right now? For a Twix and a slurpee?”

He had a point. I decided to forgo the Twix and the slurpee and am going to bed. I’m holding on to the card for just a LITTLE while longer.

• Yesterday, while playing, a helicopter flew overhead and Olivia looked up at it and said “Hey, look, a helicopter! I’ll bet he is going to find an airplane to go play with.”
• I was trying to explain  to Olivia and Sophia about when they were babies in my tummy. Olivia asked “How did we get there?” I told her daddy put her there and she said “How did he do that, your tummy doesn’t have a door!”  I told her through my belly button.
• After reading half of her book about planets for their bedtime story (It’s way too long for one night), we asked Olivia what her favorite planet was and she said “Pluto”. When we said that wasn’t a planet, she replied “Yes it is, it’s a DWARF planet!” Then her and Bill went about reiterating what a dwarf planet was, as if I didn’t know…(okay, maybe I needed a reminder).
• I gave Olivia permission to play a game on my Droid (some kids connect-the-dots application). She ended up playing her game, uploading a photo to facebook, changing my phone’s background wallpaper AND trying to connect to her daddy’s phone via bluetooth.
• While discussing how Bill was going to have a day off of work last Friday, Olivia asked “Mama, do you get a day off of work?” If she only knew. I tried to explain that my job never stopped. I don’t think she quite understands. Yet.
• I told Olivia “I love you” and she said “I know”…Bill responded “Okay Han Solo”. It made me giggle.
• Sophia loves to run around and say in a deep raspy voice and her hands on her ears (making little Yoda ears) “you will be….you WILL BE.”
• During lunch one day last week, I heard Sophia demand “Get off of my hand, jelly!” after a blob of jelly from her sandwich got smudged on her hand. She started shaking her hand, pointing at the jelly, and saying it in an accusatory tone.
• I was informed by Olivia that Sophia was eating things off of the floor (some cheerios from breakfast). When I asked what she was doing, she calmly stated “eating off of the floor.” When I asked why she was eating off of the floor she looked at me and said “Cuz I’m hungry.” Fair enough.
• I had to add another item to the “things I never thought I would say” file: “We don’t throw potatoes at people, it’s not nice.” After Sophia threw her fake potato at me (thinking we were playing catch).

That’s probably just a portion of my week. Life is never boring around here. I love it!

And, just for fun, a picture of a bubble I took today. Because it is purdy.

So, three weeks ago we had Sophia’s second birthday party and celebrated Yo Gabba Gabba style. She had a blast and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

Here is our Yo Gabba Gabba decorated patio. All of my decorations were printed from my computer, and handmade. Nothing fancy, but helped saved a lot of money. The balloons really helped give it lots of color. I also used all of the Yo Gabba Gabba toys that the girls had for decorations.

I really liked how the birthday banner turned out. Blue construction paper and sticker paper with Yo Gabba Gabba-esque font printed on it. I made the party hats (printed Yo Gabba Gabba printables from Nick Jr. on sticker paper and hats in Yo Gabba Gabba character colors). I printed the Yo Gabba Gabba paper dolls and glued them to ribbon and hung them from the patio roof.

The kiddie table (also decorated with printables from Nick Jr.)

The food table: All Sophia approved. We had Peanut Butter and Jelly Sushi AND for a fun variation, Nutella and Marshmallow Fluff Sushi. I also made chicken and plain cheese quesadillas, Bacon Wrapped Pineapple Bites! and little smokies in a blanket. There were various dips and salsas and Bill’s mom brought a great fruit platter with this delicious cream cheese/marshmallow fluff dip. I also made pink lemonade but re-christened it “Razzle Berry Lemonade” which is what Muno’s mother makes for the gang in the “Family” episode.

Excuse the graininess of this photo, it was taken with my cell phone at 1 in the morning the day of the party as soon as I finished it. But this is the cake I constructed for my baby’s 2nd birthday. I was quite proud of it–it isn’t as fancy as a store-made cake, but it was EXACTLY what Sophia wanted, a green and pink cake. The inside was pink with chocolate chips. It was a Apple-Chip recipe my friend gave me. It was pretty tasty. Between each layer was a chocolate ganache I made from scratch. I iced it with homemade buttercream (any generic recipe will do). I forgot to take a solo picture of the inside of the cake, but it looked like a watermelon. I also made her the Ben & Jerry’s French Vanilla ice cream that I made for Olivia’s birthday, and like her sister, she wanted it BRIGHT yellow.

My icing skills need a little work, but I’m still quite proud. (Toodee fell off somewhere between the kitchen and the table).

Our Muno Pinata that was bigger than the kids! And yes…there was beer at a 2 year old’s party. But I didn’t provide it (if that makes it ANY better–apparently on really hot days, beer is a necessity for some folk).

Yummy candy.

The ring pops were a hit.

All-in-all we had an amazing day!

Today I realized that my ipod was horribly outdated. The newest albums were all children’s albums and sometimes, when out (alone) running errands, I would like something that was released within the past four years to listen to in the car.

Unfortunately I keep finding myself complaining about how awful some of the newer stuff sounds. It doesn’t help that Bill says “Okay Grandma” whenever I complain. So, I’m trying to weed out the crap on my ipod that I never listen to–those albums and songs I constantly skip every time they pop up on the shuffle and find either newer bands or older bands I never found the time (or they were before my time) to listen to in years past.

As a general rule the children’s music that we listen to is decent, I make it a point to never download or keep the stuff that makes me want to claw my eyeballs out. But I want to find music that we adults like that the girls can also learn to enjoy without fear of them singing about bitches and hoes (or the like).

Advice on music that doesn’t suck? Please?

I’m an equal opportunity listener.

Since the day she was born, Olivia has had a head full of curls, losing some of it when she was about four months old, and finally growing those curls back.

They are GORGEOUS.

Not tight curls, but big loose curls that are usually curlier right after her hair air dries. Her hair is also long. When wet, it stretches almost to her butt, when dry it is halfway down her back.

Some days it is a struggle to get her to cooperate with me when it comes to combing and fixing her hair, lots of days she’ll say “You’re just going to pull it back, no combing it, right?” Which I have to inform her that yes, indeed, I will be combing her hair, because when you have long hair you HAVE to take care of it. When she protests I tell her “well, if you want to get your hair cut, then we won’t have to comb as much!”

Then the tears start “I don’t WANNNNTTTT to cut my hair, no mama, please don’t cut my hair!” Of course I have no defense: “OK baby, we won’t cut your hair right now, but we have to keep combing it and taking care of it so you don’t get any bugs or big tangles in it.”

“Okay mama.” Usually after that we have no problems (until a day or two later when we have the same conversation).

We’ve tried to explain that cutting your hair is painless, and it is a lot like cutting your fingernails or toenails. Nothing seems to help, she is still terrified of the idea of cutting her hair. I couldn’t put my finger on it until one day when we had the conversation about hair and she said “But I don’t want short hair like daddy!”

No amount of explaining how a haircut works would persuade her that it didn’t mean getting a number 3 shave on the back and sides and a trim on top. So for now, long hair rules.

I need to buy stock in detangler.

For the past few days, I have been having to tell both girls to stop pushing each other down. They think it is hilarious to push each other onto their butts and every single time they laugh hysterically. However, being the parent that I now am I know that it will only end in disaster.

“Keep your hands to yourself, and DO NOT push each other down!”  Both Bill and I have repeated some variation of this mantra to the girls at least once a day.

After telling them this again today, I hear Olivia say to Sophia, “No Sophia! You have to do it with your tummy.” And witness them tummy bump each other to the ground, laughing hysterically the whole way down.

While this can’t end well, what do I say to that?

Yesterday I woke up with really bad muscle pain in my right side. It wasn’t at the incision site, but near it–it got to be a bit unbearable, and it had me worried.

“I don’t want to ignore something big, but I don’t want to be a worrywart about a muscle spasm either.” I said to Bill.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re worried about, it’s not like you have an appendix any more, so you’ll be fine.” Bill looked at me, grinning. “You’ll probably do more harm worrying about it than anything else.”

Bill obviously forgot who he was dealing with, the queen of worry.

I mean, what if it was my liver? Or my gallbladder? or some other internal organ that I didn’t know about? EVEN THOUGH the pain was muscular and definitely not internal, I still worried. I went to bed and tried to sleep on my back the whole night.

I woke up and the pain is almost (*almost*) all gone.

I hate it when he’s right.