and then there were four…

• Yesterday, while playing, a helicopter flew overhead and Olivia looked up at it and said “Hey, look, a helicopter! I’ll bet he is going to find an airplane to go play with.”
• I was trying to explain  to Olivia and Sophia about when they were babies in my tummy. Olivia asked “How did we get there?” I told her daddy put her there and she said “How did he do that, your tummy doesn’t have a door!”  I told her through my belly button.
• After reading half of her book about planets for their bedtime story (It’s way too long for one night), we asked Olivia what her favorite planet was and she said “Pluto”. When we said that wasn’t a planet, she replied “Yes it is, it’s a DWARF planet!” Then her and Bill went about reiterating what a dwarf planet was, as if I didn’t know…(okay, maybe I needed a reminder).
• I gave Olivia permission to play a game on my Droid (some kids connect-the-dots application). She ended up playing her game, uploading a photo to facebook, changing my phone’s background wallpaper AND trying to connect to her daddy’s phone via bluetooth.
• While discussing how Bill was going to have a day off of work last Friday, Olivia asked “Mama, do you get a day off of work?” If she only knew. I tried to explain that my job never stopped. I don’t think she quite understands. Yet.
• I told Olivia “I love you” and she said “I know”…Bill responded “Okay Han Solo”. It made me giggle.
• Sophia loves to run around and say in a deep raspy voice and her hands on her ears (making little Yoda ears) “you will be….you WILL BE.”
• During lunch one day last week, I heard Sophia demand “Get off of my hand, jelly!” after a blob of jelly from her sandwich got smudged on her hand. She started shaking her hand, pointing at the jelly, and saying it in an accusatory tone.
• I was informed by Olivia that Sophia was eating things off of the floor (some cheerios from breakfast). When I asked what she was doing, she calmly stated “eating off of the floor.” When I asked why she was eating off of the floor she looked at me and said “Cuz I’m hungry.” Fair enough.
• I had to add another item to the “things I never thought I would say” file: “We don’t throw potatoes at people, it’s not nice.” After Sophia threw her fake potato at me (thinking we were playing catch).

That’s probably just a portion of my week. Life is never boring around here. I love it!

And, just for fun, a picture of a bubble I took today. Because it is purdy.

Since the day she was born, Olivia has had a head full of curls, losing some of it when she was about four months old, and finally growing those curls back.

They are GORGEOUS.

Not tight curls, but big loose curls that are usually curlier right after her hair air dries. Her hair is also long. When wet, it stretches almost to her butt, when dry it is halfway down her back.

Some days it is a struggle to get her to cooperate with me when it comes to combing and fixing her hair, lots of days she’ll say “You’re just going to pull it back, no combing it, right?” Which I have to inform her that yes, indeed, I will be combing her hair, because when you have long hair you HAVE to take care of it. When she protests I tell her “well, if you want to get your hair cut, then we won’t have to comb as much!”

Then the tears start “I don’t WANNNNTTTT to cut my hair, no mama, please don’t cut my hair!” Of course I have no defense: “OK baby, we won’t cut your hair right now, but we have to keep combing it and taking care of it so you don’t get any bugs or big tangles in it.”

“Okay mama.” Usually after that we have no problems (until a day or two later when we have the same conversation).

We’ve tried to explain that cutting your hair is painless, and it is a lot like cutting your fingernails or toenails. Nothing seems to help, she is still terrified of the idea of cutting her hair. I couldn’t put my finger on it until one day when we had the conversation about hair and she said “But I don’t want short hair like daddy!”

No amount of explaining how a haircut works would persuade her that it didn’t mean getting a number 3 shave on the back and sides and a trim on top. So for now, long hair rules.

I need to buy stock in detangler.

For the past few days, I have been having to tell both girls to stop pushing each other down. They think it is hilarious to push each other onto their butts and every single time they laugh hysterically. However, being the parent that I now am I know that it will only end in disaster.

“Keep your hands to yourself, and DO NOT push each other down!”  Both Bill and I have repeated some variation of this mantra to the girls at least once a day.

After telling them this again today, I hear Olivia say to Sophia, “No Sophia! You have to do it with your tummy.” And witness them tummy bump each other to the ground, laughing hysterically the whole way down.

While this can’t end well, what do I say to that?

Both girls were happily drawing on Friday, so I told them to make a special drawing for Father’s Day and we would put it away and surprise Bill on Sunday. I told them to not tell him about it, so he would have a fun surprise.

When Bill came home he was asking the girls about their day, and I went into the bedroom to get something. Bill came in a few minutes later, grinning and trying to stifle his laughter.

“Olivia said that her and Sophia drew me a picture but you put it away and said that it was going to be a surprise and I couldn’t see it yet.” he was dying with laughter at this point.

The girls and I let Bill sleep in on Sunday, and Olivia decided that Daddy needed donuts for a special breakfast. Since I have yet to master the art of making a doughnut, we headed out and got a dozen of assorted. After we ate, I took the girls out to run a few errands and Bill was given uninterrupted videogaming time for two hours. To keep her occupied I gave Olivia the shopping list to help me make sure we had gotten everything.

“Mama, what are Tam-poons?” She asked me, reading my list.

“Uh…they are something mama needs to get.”

“But, what are they?” She questioned.

“Um…I promise I’ll explain to you what they are someday, but right now we need to check out and get home.”

Sometimes, I forget that my 3 1/2 year old can read.

We all snuggled in our big King sized bed and watched (most of) Toy Story 2, ate popcorn and enjoyed being together.

During dinner, a shirtless Sophia proclaimed “I’m wearing my nay-kid shirt!” and started anthropomorphizing her spaghetti noodles. “Ooh, I want to go to the party in Sophia’s tummy, but I’m so scared!” She kept us laughing through dinner.

All-in-all I think Bill had a very good day.

He deserved it. He’s the best daddy to those wonderfully goofy girls of ours.

Today Olivia was looking at my face and she said “I’m getting those” and started swirling her finger around near my face.

“You’re getting what, baby?” I asked her.

“Those” (more finger swirling in the general direction of my chin).

Then it hit me. I’m in the midst of a PMS breakout and my chin has gotten the zitty end of the deal.

“My bumps?” I asked her.

“Yeah, I’m getting those!”

“No baby, you’re not getting bumps, your face is smooth and you have a long time before you need to worry about bumps.”

“But I’m getting them! SEE?” And she proceeds to lift her nightgown and show me her kneecaps, which had a few bumps and bug bites on them.

Later today I took the girls outside to play and while they were occupied in the sandbox I took the opportunity to stalk bugs to photograph (For Pioneer Woman’s current Photography Assignment) and I suddenly hear Sophia saying “NOOOOOO NOOOO NOOO” so of course I practically drop my camera to run over and see what the heck is going on. I see her, covered, in sand. In her hair, her clothes, she’s spitting it out of her mouth, it’s mixed in with her (still) snotty nose.

“WHAT IN THE WORLD?” I asked. “Olivia did you throw sand on your sister?”

Of course, she did not want to admit to it, but I finally said “Olivia, I want you to always tell the truth, because if you tell a lie and I figure it out, I’m going to be more upset than if you tell me the truth right away.”

“Okay, I did. I threw sand on Sophia.”

I cleaned poor Sophia off, and as I am doing it I look at Olivia and sternly say “This is MEAN. You are not a mean girl, but you did a mean thing that I do not like.” Then I went on to tell her we were going to go inside since she didn’t know how to behave and she was not allowed to watch any television for the rest of the day.

Of course, this made her cry and get upset. I explained that one of the biggest rules we have is that we never throw sand, because it could hurt and it is not nice. I told her if she did something like that at preschool to one of her friends, she would get into trouble and probably have to come home. I have no idea what would happen, but we’ve started trying to put her misdeeds into “when you start preschool” terms, so she knows what will be expected of her. This made her cry, which made my heart ache, (yes, I am an emotional pushover sometimes), so I told her how much I loved her and knew she was a sweet girl, but she had to apologize to Sophia and never ever do it again. She apologized and I told her if she did it again we were going to throw the sandbox away.

“But…the sandbox won’t fit in the trashcan!” She said very concerned.

Biting my lip, I looked at her and said “I’ll throw the sand away and then give the sandbox to someone else who can use it properly and not throw sand!”

That seemed to satisfy her.

• Yesterday, I was working out with my Wii fit plus “trainer” and the girls were working out with me (they really enjoy ‘exercises’). The trainer likes to shout out words of encouragement throughout your workout. Suddenly I hear Sophia’s little voice shout out (a little congested one, I might add, since she has been sick recently and her nose is still runny) “I’m toning my body! I’m doing it!”
• Last night, Olivia came out of her room, dragging her monkey, Sandwich, behind her. “Um, Daddy…I need to tell you something.” Seeing as how it was nearing 10 p.m., we were growing weary of her stall tactics, but ever the good daddy, Bill asked her what was wrong. “I have a problem. Sandwich is allergic to beds!” Bill stifled his laughter and said “No, he isn’t! Sandwich LOVES your bed.” And then Olivia said “No, he really is allergic, see? And proceeded to “sneeze” for Sandwich, proving that he, indeed, was allergic to beds.
• Sophia had a cold last week and she is still very congested and has a runny nose…Yesterday I said “Oh, you’re Miss PrissPot, aren’t you?” She looked at me, indignantly and said “I NOT PISS-POT! I SO-FEE-UH!”
• Olivia has taken to making a “pfft” sound whenever we say or do something that she thinks is wrong or silly. Ex: Last night I made pancakes and bacon for dinner. We also had yogurt and bananas. I told the girls I was going to have yogurt on top of my pancakes instead of syrup. (BTW: YUM) Olivia looked at me, “Pfft”ed and said “That’s not right” and shook her head at me. We’ve had to enact a “no Pffting rule at the table.” We are attempting to eradicate the pffting altogether. Wish us luck.
• Sophia, on the other hand, has taken to saying “Ummm-hmmm” and “Uh-uh” instead of “yes and no”. We have been responding with “use words, I do not understand these sounds” or something similar. The other morning, during breakfast, Olivia asked Sophia a question and got the standard “Ummm-hmmm” from Sophia. Suddenly I heard Olivia say, “Don’t you UMMM-HMMM ME!” Bill and I had to hold each other up to prevent us from falling over with laughter. Then I had to wonder where she heard that from, because we do try to be good parents and use constructive ways to correct them when they say things they shouldn’t. I am assuming I said it to Bill jokingly, or have, indeed slipped up and said it to her in the past.
• For the past month, both girls have been obsessed with Wall-E and walk around the house saying “Waaaaaaahhhh-Leeeeee” and “Eeee–Vhuuuuu” in similar voices to those the robots use. It never fails to amuse.

Bill has this T-shirt.

He wore it the other day and as he was getting Sophia into her pajamas, she pointed to Miyamoto (the creator of Nintendo, btw) and said “Is that daddy?” and laughed. Bill laughed and said “No, that’s Miyamoto!” and Sophia looked at him and said “Das your mama?” And Bill fell into the floor laughing. Of course, Olivia and I came in and had to know what was so funny, so Bill explained it to me, and I laughed too (and while she didn’t get the joke, Olivia laughed because we were laughing).

Later, as Olivia was brushing her teeth, she started laughing and Bill asked her what was so funny and she looked at him and said “Your mama.”

She got the same response as Sophia did earlier, but for an entirely different reason.

My kids are so full of win.

Tonight, Olivia got up for her nightly routine, and I heard her in the bathroom singing this song:

“S-U-C-K spells suck. Suck. Suck. Suck.”

WTF? and WTH did she come up with that?

Today, we took Olivia to the library and she was able to obtain her very own library card.

Our library’s only requirement is that the person who gets the card is able to write their own name. Olivia can, and did. She did so well getting her letters in the tiny boxes. She also had to sign her name on the paperwork (bureaucracy starts early, eh?). Then the librarian gave her a felt tip marker pen and wanted her to sign the back of her (plastic) library card. She started writing a very LARGE “O”, so I tried to direct her so she wouldn’t obscure the bar code. That’s when the librarian said “She’s supposed to write it herself, but since I’ve seen her do it twice that’s okay.”  As if he was giving us a break. I smiled as kindly as I could and just said “well, I was trying to keep your bar code scannable.”

I’m probably overreacting, but it seemed kind of anal on his part. She’s three. I mean, I’m sure he’s not used to three year olds filling out paperwork to get their own library cards, but we thought it was a reward for her learning how to read, her rite of passage. Plus, writing letters and numbers that aren’t as big as the page is a new thing for Olivia, and she’s still learning.

After she got her card, she gripped it tightly and said “No mama, I want to hold it, that’s okay” when I asked her if she wanted me to hold on to it while she searched for books (and yes, I did want to break down and sob about how my baby was growing up, but I held it together). We went to the Children’s Library wing and I almost fainted. It was bigger than my hometown library. It was glorious and I just let Olivia take the lead after asking the (very sweet) Children’s librarian where we could find the books for children who were just learning how to read. She pointed us in the right direction and then said “And all of our classic storybooks are under the big tree.” Sure enough, there was a huge tree in the middle of the wing where there were shelves full of all sorts of children’s literature.

I know it sounds incredibly hokey, but it was magical, I really don’t know how a child wouldn’t want to read after visiting the library. We looked around a bit, Olivia chose one of the only Dr. Seuss books we do not have (Fox in Socks) and then we wandered over to the big tree to see what we could find. After my suggestion, Olivia decided she wanted to read more Fancy Nancy books. I couldn’t remember the author, so I told her we could go and ask the librarian and she would be able to help us. So with her little hand in mine, we walked over to the librarian’s desk and I told her that she needed to ask, so she said (so sweetly):

“I’m trying to find Fancy Nancy books, please.”

*melt*

They were so helpful (at this point another librarian had shown up) and gave us the three they had on the shelf. The librarian was so excited that she had any available, because apparently they are very popular. I asked them how many books we could check out and they told us “50, but please don’t do that” and laughed. I told them that wouldn’t be a problem because, really? 50?? 50?? That’s a little ridiculous, no?

I asked Olivia how many she thought we should take home, and she said “I think five is a good number.” So we counted what we had (four) and I asked her how many more we needed to get.”ONE!” she answered. So our search continued and the librarians pointed us to the new release shelf, where we found one called Dinosaur vs. Bedtime that looked promising.

I took photos of the whole event. Her filling out the paperwork, getting her card, searching for books, finding them, etc. etc.

I’ve decided that it is going to be something for Olivia and I (or Olivia and Bill) to do weekly. Time will tell if Sophia will join us again, as she was crabby today, but we’re not sure if that is due to the close proximity to lunch/nap that our trip had or if she is just not as content looking at all the things the Children’s Library has to offer since she wasn’t given the free range that she is used to at home.

So, interwebs, I was wrong: I DO want her to visit the library as much as I did as a kid–I’ll just be sure she has enough books on her shelves to satisfy any longing or desires for her own books.

Balance. Balance is key.

Plus, it may be the only way to get her to pronounce library correctly. For now, we’ll visit the “Lie-Berry” and hope for better pronunciation in the future. She’s got enough going on in that gigantic brain of hers.

Lately, Olivia’s poop schedule has been a bit later in the evening. She goes to bed at 8, but gets up around 10 and says she needs to go.

Never fails–for the past few weeks, it’s been a 10 o’clock poop session–(if anyone has any advice on how to change that, PLEASE let me know).

So tonight, right on time, she came out at 10. JUST as I was getting up to go pee. Since we have one bathroom I decided (stupidly) to let her go first, because well, you don’t want to make a three year old wait.

I say stupidly, because it takes her awhile. And I REALLY had to pee. So badly, that after a few minutes that I was considering going outside.

Before heading out in the rain, I decided to ask her how far along she was in her endeavor. Unfortunately, I asked the following question: “Olivia, where is your poop at?”
The answer I got?

“Floating in the toilet!”