and then there were four…

I’m up, waiting for the Cinnamon Raisin Bread I, (okay, my bread machine), baked to cool so I can cover it without fear of it becoming icky with condensation.

I realized, at 8:30 tonight, that I had nothing for the girls’ breakfast tomorrow morning. I also realized that I didn’t feel like going out to the store to get anything for said breakfast, so I decided to improvise, which is why I am still up after midnight. Bread takes awhile, ya’ll.

What’s more, I realized that I don’t mind so much. I don’t mind any of it–I actually ENJOY it. All of it. Okay, maybe not ALL of it (the puke and runny diapers I could do without). But, I don’t feel like running from the house screaming when faced with the bad parts of being a parent.

I’m also not saying I don’t have a bad day, and that I don’t lose my temper, nor am I saying that I don’t sometimes feel I need a break. What I am saying is that, good and bad, this is what I want in life.

I always thought I wanted this huge career, lots of money, status, etc. etc. Because I grew up without that, and I wanted to “show them all” how awesome I had become. What I am realizing is that I did that ten and a half years ago, simply by graduating high school and leaving for college. I was the first in my family to do that (on my mom’s side–aside from Cosmetology school). I further cemented that six and a half years ago when I graduated college.

I worked for the second largest newspaper in one of the largest metropolitan areas in the country, maybe not as a reporter, but in an assistant editorial sector, and then as my own account executive in a special niche department that utilized many of the things I learned in college. While there, even though I was not in the actual newsroom, I realized that it wasn’t for me. My heart wasn’t into it. I was treading water until I figured out what I wanted to do with my life.

Enter Olivia. Suddenly, I knew. I knew that she was what I wanted to do with my life. And then, Sophia came along, that sweet girl who gave me such calm and confidence in my abilities as a mother, because now, NOW I had two.

I cherished (and cherish) every single breath that those two girls take, every moment, even when I am frustrated, I can’t help but smile.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry because that’s boring. I’m not a successful blogger partially because I’m boring. I wrote lots of good stuff when I was depressed and sad and on medication. “Deep piece of work”, my English professors would always comment. “Keep at this, dig deeper” they encouraged.

So I dug, trying to find out the meaning of my life, what I was supposed to do, why I had all of these things inside, why I wanted to write them.

I no longer need to dig.

Okay, maybe I am a little, but I can’t help it!

Olivia, who turned three on October 4th, 2009, is READING. I spoke of her abilities earlier, but she is actually reading full books, with minimal help from us in sounding the words out! I’m so freaking proud of her I don’t know what to do.

The obvious answer is to buy her more books. Which is probably what I’ll do once we weed through the ones that are tattered and need new homes. The girls have lots (and LOTS) of books, but I want to continually foster a love of reading, and nothing says “Wooohoo, let’s read!” like a new (or gently used) book. We are also thinking it may be time for her first library trip.

I have been hesitant about library books for many reasons, mainly that I don’t want my children to ruin them and possibly because I spent the majority of my time in the library as a child. While I have so many fond memories of sitting, cross-legged on the floor, searching the shelves for something I had not yet read, I also envied children who had shelves of books and always wanted tons of my own. I hated having to give them back after falling in love with them. I was a re-reader and probably checked out “The Adventures of Pippi Longstocking” (and all the other Pippi books available at our library) at least 20 times in my life.

My mom laughed when I told her that and said “Well, when I was growing up, I always wanted more Barbies, so I guess that is why I always bought you lots of them.”

I found that incredibly sweet. We want for our kids what we didn’t have, or felt we were lacking.

We will just have to find a healthy balance between buying and borrowing. After all, I want them to understand they can’t have EVERYTHING, but it is so hard to NOT spoil them when we are talking about books.

I try to keep all of their hardcover classic books on a high bookshelf and they have to ask to read them, because I want them to keep them always, so maybe they can read them to their children. Hopefully I can help save them a small fortune on books (not that I mind, but giving them a leg-up on all things is sort of my parental duty ;o).

Some people have commented that they worry about Olivia and how she may become bored when all the other children are learning their letters and numbers and she is reading in Kindergarten. I always tell them we will cross that bridge when (and if) we get there. I worry about her being bored and acting out, but Bill pointed out that it is our job to teach her to occupy herself or how to handle herself when she is bored, because that’s kind of an important life skill–there will be times in life when you are bored. You can’t start acting foolish because of that. Logic: Bill’s got it. Plus, we can always supplement what she is doing with enrichment activities and teaching her things at home.

But, I’m getting WAY ahead of myself. She’s three. She still needs to play and get dirty and have reading be a fun activity for her, not a chore. Last night, she started getting frustrated because she had chosen a LONG book to read and it was taking her awhile (The Cat in the Hat is kind of long, ya’ll). I looked at her and said “You don’t have to finish reading this, I can read it to you–reading shouldn’t make you sad or angry, reading is fun, not work.” She perked up and said “Oh, it is fun, and I want to finish.

And finish she did.

Sophia is 18 months old today.

We celebrated her half-birthday by going to lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. Olivia and Sophia decided on Quesadillas, which Olivia pronounces “CASE-OF-DEE-AHS”  and all four of us shared the pineapple upside down cheesecake. Yum. I may need to figure out how to make that one at home. Sophia preferred eating the whipped cream, which she deemed “Tase-T”.

After lunch, we took the girls to the Build-A-Bear Workshop to finally use a gift card Sophia was given for her birthday. I don’t know why I was so surprised, but both girls chose the same animal: A frog. The girls had them stuffed (Soft for Sophia and Medium for Olivia, per her request), a heart inserted and then we “washed” them. Before we named them we decided we may need to get the frogs something to wear so we knew which frog belonged to which girl. Neither wanted clothes, but they did want shoes. We spent almost as much on a pair of stuffed animal shoes for the frogs as we do on actual children’s shoes. But–they were pretty cute and there was a 20% off deal if you made two animals, so I felt I could justify the accessories.

The naming ceremony proceeded and Olivia wanted to name hers “Bear” and then “Build-A-Bear” and then finally settled on “Ribbit”. Sophia liked the name “Hoppy” so that is what we christened hers.

So, without further ado, the newest members of our family, who both took a turn being unceremoniously pushed down the new slide Santa brought the girls for Christmas:

Hoppy wears sparkle-y red shoes.

Ribbit wears silver shoes. Olivia told me she wanted a matching pair. As do I.

Sophia is growing up incredibly fast and seems to be learning so much every day. Currently Sophia:

• Can count to fourteen–and understands what comes next even when we aren’t starting from one.
• Sings the ABC song and can point out the letters “G” and “O” without much trouble.
• Understands the difference between letters and numbers (usually).
• Knows the colors “Yellow” and “Green” , and is working on the others.
• Loves music and sings lots of songs from Yo Gabba Gabba (among others). Every time the show comes on, she throws her hands in the air and squeals “FAVE-IT SHOW!”
• Speaks in 4-5 word sentences on a regular basis and can tell you exactly what she wants and how she wants it.
• Asks lots of questions and usually follows up most of our explanations with “BE-TUZ WHY?”
• Loves to cuddle.
• Knows what a horse, cow, sheep, pig, dog and cat say (among others).
• Loves to dance and knows how to “Get The Sillies Out” .
• Tells knock-knock jokes.
• Plays pretend and likes me to smell “flowers” because they smell like peanut butter.
• She LOVES peanut butter.
• Has finally figured out how to get down the slide by herself. She had been having problems figuring out how to get her feet from under her…Friday found her figuring it out.
• She adores her “sit-stir”.

I’m sure there is a lot I am forgetting, but Sophia is such a sweet girl, I can always count on her for a terrific hug, kiss and nuzzle (aka Eskimo kiss). I am definitely enjoying watching her grow, even if it is a bit bittersweet.

Happy Half-Birthday Baby Girl!